Rev. Ann's Letter

May 2025

Why does life hurt so much?

This is a question I was asked recently, and it is always one I dread along with ‘Why do bad things happen to good people’ and ‘why does God allow suffering?’

I struggle with exactly how to answer, not because there are so many griefs and losses to choose from but because I know life hurts but I do not, in fact, know why.

I’ve yet to come across an explanation for “why does life have to hurt so much” that does not, to my own ear, sound cruel, facile, or delusional. And, the more I think about it, the more I would advise you to avoid anyone who tells you they do have an explanation, for they are more than likely be trying to sell you something.

The fact is that life just hurts. No one gets out of here unscathed.

And maybe there is no satisfying “why” to be found no matter how much we grope around for one.

But there is some wisdom available to us, and it has helped me. 

Firstly, some hurts are optional, not all of them, just some of them. That’s what I have found, that some of our hurts are most definitely self-inflicted.

The other thing I would say, and I am not sure everyone would agree with me, but if nothing hurt in life, I think we’d all be quite boring.  Seriously.  Also I don’t think we’d be very compassionate. I suspect that a lot of art wouldn’t be made and that many of us would not have a sense of humour or perspective.

We are still in the season of Easter when we are reminded that resurrection can only come after crucifixion.  In other words, we would not know joy if we also didn’t know pain. Jesus set that precedent and taught us that life and death are two sides of the same coin, and so are joy and pain.

Our experience of being hurt can also sharpen our awareness of small kindnesses and little mercies, rather than obstructing them, and that love, when offered, is  all the more precious and worthy of cherishing because our hearts have known it’s opposite.

Maybe the ugliness of life allows the beauty to be seen MORE clearly and not less.

This is not an answer to why life hurts , but we get through it because we have a Saviour who has been there before us and knows exactly how we get through without the hurt winning.  If we allow him to be part of our suffering, then he can help us to bear it and somehow see the light within it.

Go well.

Ann